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Every day is magic with you.

Hopes and wishes for 2017

My family is definitely a modern family. As a child, I never saw it coming but my parents separated when I was 15. That left me in charge of my younger brothers for most of my high school and college life. From then, both my parents met the partners that they have now and have made us an even bigger family. 

Last 2014, Kendra came into our lives. She is my dad's daughter with his girlfriend Juney. In 2016, Elle was born and she is the daughter of my mom with her boyfriend Bart. And it doesn't end there! By April of 2017, we will be welcoming a new baby boy from my dad and juney.

Besides all the factual stuff, there has been a lot of pain and joy in between. My younger brothers and I had to adjust to our parents being separated, and we are still constantly adjusting to our new siblings from both our parents. It has been a new and challenging experience for us all, and we learn how to deal with all the changes day by day.

Today, Elle and Kendra met for the very first time. I realized today, on the first day of 2017, that what I want most in the world is for my big family to be one. I want Elle and Kendra to be friends. I want my brothers to be kind to their new siblings and protect them throughout life. I want my parents and their partners to be friends. I want everyone to be close and happy and grow old together.

Although this is not the usual setup of a family, I'm thankful for every single one of them. I'm thankful to my parents' partners for still making us feel whole despite the brokenness we once felt. I'm thankful for the opportunity to move on and for second chances. I'm thankful for the strength I've had all these years. I'm thankful as well to the friends who have helped me stay strong for my family. The truth is that the more people you have in your family and in life, the more reasons there are to love. And love always wins.

Happy new year, everyone! All happiness and light for 2017. 🎉💗

The Year That Was

Let me start by saying that this is going to be a cliché post (hence, the title). But hopefully, a cliché post that will/maybe make some sense.

To tell you that 2015 was a big fucking year for me is a huge understatement. 2015 was the year that I learned most about myself. What I like. What I don’t like. What I’m comfortable with and what I’m not. What I’m willing to put up with and what I can easily let go off. My needs and my wants. How I like my coffee. How I love walking to clear my mind and how sunset is my favorite part of the day.

2015 was the year I experienced the most self growth. This is mostly due to the big changes I had this year - being single after a four year relationship, graduating from college, getting my first job, and moving out of home. It’s been a fucking roller coaster ride, to say the least. For the first time in my life, I had no control over any aspect of whatever was going on. Dating was complicated, and finding a job was frustrating. I have actually found that dating and finding a job are pretty much the same thing. In both cases, you put your best foot forward and you try your hardest in hopes of finding the best job/relationship you can have. But sometimes, no, most of the time, life gets in the way and you realize that there are some things that don’t work out because they’re just not right for you, or they’re simply not good enough.

2015 was the year I learned that it’s okay to be selfish. It’s okay to be alone. It’s okay to be scared and vulnerable. It’s okay to be unsure of yourself and it’s okay to make mistakes. After a while, I realized that this time of my life is all about building the relationship that I have with myself. At the end of the day, you're supposed to like the person you’re becoming. Sure, sometimes you’ll hate yourself because of a slip-up or lapse in judgment. But as long as you keep working towards the  kind of person you want to be, and have a goal in mind, everything will fall into place.

Looking back at everything, I am so thankful for all the changes I had in my life. I’m thankful for going through my first real break-up. I’m thankful for the drunken nights. I’m thankful for friends who never left my side. I’m thankful for new friends. I’m thankful for my new job which I ended up liking very much. I’m thankful for the strength I’ve had over 22 years. I’m thankful for new beginnings and the chance to start all over again.

Hi, 2016. You have no idea how ready I am for you.

:) xx